


Missing You

by fuckinsebastian



Category: The Wanted - Fandom, Tom Parker - Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-13
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-20 02:40:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/881987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckinsebastian/pseuds/fuckinsebastian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tom's girlfriend dies. He can't handle it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missing You

“Tom! Talk to me already!” Max yells at me, getting angry. I just stare at him blankly, with no sense of recognition.  
“Thomas Parker! Say something! C’mon. please,” his voice starts cracking. “We’re worried mate. We haven’t heard anything from you since Tori died.”  
Now I move. I look at him directly in the eyes at the mention of her name. His face suddenly turns guilty and he starts to open his mouth to apologize. It’s too late though, because I have already started crying. I don’t duck my head, or attempt to hide my sobs. I stare at him, straight at him. He walks over to comfort me, but I just keep my eyes on the spot where he was.  
“I’m so sorry mate. I – I wasn’t thinking. I – it – I forgot. I’m sorry.”  
They always forget. It’s been three weeks since the funeral, one month since her death. It hurts every time they say her name. I still haven’t said anything. Even while crying, I’ve kept my mouth shut.  
They’ve taken me in to see everything - a doctor, consoler, therapist, a rehab center, Tori’s family, even my family. Still, I won’t say anything. The doctor called it dramatic shock and that is should pass quickly. But now that’s it been a month I could possibly have a disorder.  
But I don’t have a disorder. I have half a heart because I gave the other half to Tori. And she’s gone now.  
I keep thinking I’m in Inception or something like that. That I’m having some extremely long nightmare. That when I wake she’ll be there to hold me and tell me that everything is alright.  
Max gets up and leaves me to gather my thoughts once again. I start to try stop crying, and after a couple minutes I take control of the sobs. Just in time for bed.  
Something I’ve been doing every night before bed is writing a letter. A letter that the boys don’t know about. A letter that no one ever reads. A letter to her.  
I still write them though. In some way I feel like this is the way I can talk to her.

Dear Princess Tori,  
It’s been a month today. A month since you left me for an enchanted place.  
I love you Tori. I haven’t stopped. And I never will. Just please remember me, wherever you are.  
Management has given me a day to start talking again or I’m out of the band. But that’s alright; I won’t talk until you come back. They should know that by now.  
Jay said he missed my voice today. That he wished he could hear me sing and crack some jokes again. Of course, I don’t believe him. I was always a twat anyway. I mean, even you know that.  
I want to know how you are. What’s been up? Not much I guess. Do you have new friends, in Heaven or whatever? I can’t believe my Heaven, is in Heaven. How crazy is that?  
I played my guitar a bit today. Guess what I played. Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade. Remember that? Our first dance. Yeah, good memories. I get happy just thinking of it. At that very moment, I knew you were the one. The one to be the princess of my dreams. That I had to call you mine.  
Trust me, the minute I got home I told the boys all about you. Everything I had learned about you, I told them about you. I told them that you were the most beautiful girl in the world, that your eyes would sparkle when you laugh, and that you were mine. I would have you someday.  
I don’t know, gorgeous, but I miss you. I miss hearing you every day. I miss your eyes and your smile. I miss your lips against mine. I miss your constant support. I miss you.  
I miss you and I can’t wait to see you again. I guess it won’t be too long from now.  
Love you, see you soon,  
Your Tommy

So this is it. I guess there’s only so much I can do now.  
I fold the paper into thirds and head down stairs on my toes. I look into the front room. Nathan’s sleeping on the couch. I creep out the door and walk into the garden. Tori’s garden. I place the letter under the flower pot, like every night before. I know she gets them because when I look out my window fifteen minutes after I get into my room, she’ll be sitting there, right next to the pot, reading the letter.  
But tonight I won’t be able to see her. I have an important letter to write.  
Max, Siva, Jay, and Nathan.

Sorry boys, but this isn’t working out. I can’t deal with anything anymore. The label isn’t happy, the fans aren’t happy, you boys aren’t happy. Fuck, not even I’m happy.  
I don’t know how to say this, but I’m done. Maybe it’s for the better.  
Maxxy,  
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for it to end this way. Honest. I wanted to have kids and grow old with Tori. Either way, I had the best time knowing ya. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Knowing you has made me more fearless than anything else. You’ve inspired me, Max. Thank you.  
Seev,  
I’ll miss you. You’re a great lad and a kind man at heart. You were always there, know what to say. Not lying, you were my trust buddy, the one I could count on. You’ve made me a better person. Thank you Siva.  
JayBird,  
You and I have had the greatest memories that you should hold onto. From getting kicked out of pubs, to preforming for millions. Your humor was the greatest things ever. You are one of the nicest people I’ve met. You really could make my day better. For that, thank you Jay.  
Baby Nath,  
I’ve learned much from you. Even if you are five years younger, you are an inspiration to everyone. You are a very talented man who I learned from. You wouldn’t believe how much I wish I was like you. Thanks Nathan.  
Well I guess that’s all I have left to say. I’ll miss you boys. I’ve recorded my parts to some of the songs before Tori died – she thought I should be prepared. They’re on my computer. Please release them for the fans.  
I love you lot,  
TomTom

I weakly smile as I fold the paper in half. A tear rolls off my face. I make my bed and place the letter in the middle. And now that my room is perfect and clean, I head to the bathroom.  
I open the cupboard that’s hidden behind the mirror and pull out some brand-name medication. I grab my phone off the counter and go on twitter. I have to say one last thing.  
I hit the “compose new tweet” button and then type, “I’m sorry everybody. Thank you all. I love you.” I tweet it out and quickly log off. I can’t bear to think of the Fanmily right now.  
I fill a paper cup with water and take out half the pills in the bottle. Shaking, I lift them up to my mouth. Right before I put them in my mouth, I see Tori.  
I smile. Before I swallow the pills, I whisper to her, “I love you, Tori.”

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh it's shit but I wrote it like a year ago.


End file.
